How to Get a Good Job pt. 2

(Note: There are images in this post that are important if this entry is to make any sense. If you cannot see them, then visit my blog which can be found under "my websites" unless you are currently reading my blog, in which case carry on)

So when we left off, I told you I would tell you how to dress for a job interview. To start, here is how to NOT dress:












See? This poor fool will never get the job he seeks! His hair is unkempt and greasy. His WCW shirt is far too stained and wrinkled for the workplace, and his pants look as though they were stolen from a Salvation Army dumpster. This schmuck is not "hiring material" at all!



See? Now we are getting somewhere! He has now procured some tennis shoes, his hair is combed, and he has removed the stains from his WCW shirt. However, he is still far from being ready for his big interview!

Ahh! That is even better! Notice how the sharp, colorful and trendy suit draws the eyes away from the sagging groinf area? His confident air exudes responsibility and respect! However, he has something in his hand that you might not notice, but the keen eye of an employer will, and that is a big "no no." We can teach you how to fix this!


Huzzah! Success--full success! This young man is ready for his job, looking sharp as a thumbtack! He has even taken a bath, which brings me to a very important note:

1. Bathe regularly
2. Bathe BEFORE getting dressed.

I cannot stress how important it is to take these steps in the correct order. Seriously, nothing screams "unprofessional" like a wet, soapy individual. If you do not have a shower or bathtub, use a neighbor's pool. If no pool is available, break into a YMCA after hours and use their pool or showers. If there is no Y near you, go to Wal-Mart and rub air fresheners on your crotch. If this is not an option, ask your potential boss if he or she can interview you outside a meat-rendering plant.


Next time: The actual interview!!!