Nicknames, Bad Sitcoms, and Pick-up Lines

Man, I wish more people had nicknames. You watch TV and see carefully designed sitcoms like the immaculate "One on One" on the good old CW, and it makes you wish that you and your friends got into more wacky schemes and all had crazy nicknames, so when you all went to the local teen hangout spot, people would call you by that cool nickname.

In general, life should be more like a bad sitcom. Creeps like JT from "Step by Step" seem to have no trouble getting dates just because they make up elaborate lies, and then when the girl catches them, they say something lame like "I just like you so much...I wanted to impress you" and then girl says "all you had to do was be yourself" and then something like "let's start over....I'm Ashley." I don't get it. I am pretty sure that if I went to Disney Land, and told some girls I was "John Disney, heir to the Disney fortune," I would be laughed out of the Magic Kingdom.

So, in keeping with today's theme, my daily list will be about

Nicknames that were common from the 1950's-1980's that need to come back into use:

• Lumpy
• Whitey
• Lefty
• Mongo
• Duke
• Ducky
• Buck
• Squints
• Skippy
• Big Guy
• Clyde
• Stroker
• King
• Chocolate Thunder