Embarassing Situations/ Awkward Moments

Ok so we are all human right? What does that expression mean? Well, essentially it is a cover-all when we do something stupid...who can argue with that logic? I am human, therefore I have license to screw-up at times. So here are some situations that are without a doubt the most embarassing you can get into in everyday life. Obviously there are more embarassing things that could happen, like say, "crapping one's pants in front of a national audience on a game show" but things like that aren't exactly "everyday" in nature. Therefore, these examples are things that could easily happen to you tomorrow, today, or even 5 minutes from now.



Situation 1: A waiter says "enjoy your meal" and you say "you too"

This is not limited to just waiters. This scenario can be applied to an usher saying "enjoy the film" to you at the movies. This embarassing exchange is probably the most common embarassing moments in all of human interaction. The reason is simple: We are so conditioned to respond politely when someone tells us to have a nice day or enjoy the weather, etc. So really, the problem is that we are polite without exactly knowing why. Your best bet in this situation is to ignore it, because clearly you are not the first person in the history of the world to do this. Rest assured your waiter or usher has heard this about 50 times that day before you came his way. A friend of mine suggested that there is no reason to get embarassed because the waiter will undoubtedly eat a meal in the neat future, and the usher will probably see a movie sometime soon. Therefore it really is not that stupid of a thing to say.


Situation 2: You lean back in your chair and either nearly fall or do fall but jump out before nailing your head on the ground.

Yes, it is a relaxing feeling to lean back in your chair, whether it be a plastic molded cafeteria style chair, a desk chair, or a simple metal folding chair, it is a great feeling of euphoria. However, sometimes gravity kicks in, and you find yourself flailing your arms to keep from falling backwards. Sometimes the chair gives out, but you bail just in time. Either way, you look like an idiot in front of whoever is around. Chair-leaning is a very "cool" thing to do, and if you can't pull it off, well you just suck. The solution is this: DO NOT yell at the chair, saying it is broken, because well, no one yells at furniture, you just look like a bigger idiot. Also, do not fake injury because after the fact no one will trust you. Your best bet is to go with the flow. Pick your chair back up, make sure it is secure, and say something like, "let's try this again." If you have a smile on your face, you will only receive a smattering of snickers, nothing more.

Situation 3: You are faced with an "ethnic" handshake and awkwardly try to seem cool, but end up looking like you are feably trying to fight them and embarass your entire race.

This one is not so easy. Since we all know that white people are the lamest race, we don't have a whole lot of breathing room to make social faux-pas. The standard white-guy handshake is a simple firm grasping of hands, with one, maybe two pumps, usually while maintaining eye contact. But now, you are faced with an open palm being held at a 45-degree angle. What do you do? Often times, you awkwardly grad at their hand or wrist area, then try to pull them forward in a lame "guy-hug." If this happens to you, you may become terrified of appearing square or racist. The key is, do something quickly. The worst thing you can do is hesitate and play it off like "o geez I am so white, I don't know what to do!" this only hurts you in the long run. You know whiteys are lame, so don't go around spreading the news. Act in a fashion that says, "I've been here before." Take action, any action, because after all, a handshake is the ultimate test of machismo, so don't let down your race and gender in this situation. If we are to believe that all races and genders are equal, then the key is to do your thing with complete confidence.

The Final Situation: You call your teacher "mom"

Often called the "Doomsday Scenario," this is perhaps the most embarassing situation a child or teen can ever find themselves in. First off, you make a malaprop, which in itself is funny. But to compound this, the malaprop involves your teacher. Even funnier, because nothing is more uncool than your teacher, unless your teacher is Mr. Turner. Finally, the malaprop involves relating your teacher to your own mother. The only thing lamer than being down with your teacher is being down with you parents, especially your mom. Therefore several conclusions can be drawn from this situation: a.You love your teacher the way you love your mom; b.Your mom teaches you things at home that you desperately need help with; or c. Both. Therefore, NEVER try to stretch the word "mom" into another word like "Mommmmtana" or "Mommmumental," because undoubtedly the room will have fallen silent on the exact second that your blunder occured. Your peers have within a split second gauged how hard they will laugh at you, and the decided on "very." DO NOT play it off as a joke either, because your classmates are not idiots, and will only laugh harder. In fact, your teacher will probably laugh at you too. Your only option is to put your head down and accept your embarassment. Unfortunately, awkwardness experts have not yet developed a solution to this terrible scenario. Just swallow your pride, take it like a man and accept the fact that you made a terrible slip of the tongue, because your only other option would be to literally crawl into a hole and die.



Well, I hope that these guidelines will help you in the future. I would like to thank Something Awful for providing some of my material and to my friends for provding awkward moments/


Peace Love and Understanding